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The Theodore Thurston Story
Theodore Thurston was an athletic, aesthetic, thirty-three year old thistle-sifter, a father of three, and a really thoughtful person. Born in 1933 in the city of Bath, Theodore was always the guy to say thank you when thank you was appropriate. His mother and father, Theona and Thackery, were also very thankful. They would say thank you for this and thank you for that and then thank you for some other thing that you had done last week. Maybe something you had already forgotten – but not the Thurstons. They were relentless thinkers and thankers. Not saying thank you was, to them, anathema.
Sometimes you would think, “Enough already. You are really a bother! Are you from another planet or something? You have thanked me to death. Wouldn’t a simple, silent thumbs-up be enough?”
But no, they wouldn’t stop with the thanking. There was simply no stopping the Thurstons until one day, when the whole world went dry. Yes, one day there was no more water in the water tanks. Not to mention, no beer, wine or coffee in the tanks, bars, stores and coffee machines of the world. With nothing to drink, the Thurstons got quieter and quieter as they got drier and drier. Finally, there was silence. They were through with all that thanking.
Well, I can tell you that the world was thoroughly thrilled, although thirsty. The aftermath of this change, from incessant thanking to thoughtful silence, was stunning. But nor being capable of thanking people never went down smoothly with the Thurstons, and the clever, unstoppable Thurstons developed a stunning new method of synthetic water generation. Soon they were rehydrated and back to their old ways, thanking this one, that one and the other one. The people of the world were thankful, of course, for this worthy water technology, but they were nonetheless irritated with all the renewed thanking. Their patience was growing thin.
But the Thurston’s were immune to their protestations, and went blithely on with their thank you for this and thank you for that until one day, there was a terrible bloodbath and all the Thurston’s were, thankfully, murdered.